So on Saturday night I did some things that I’m ashamed of, not because of the degenerate nature of them but because I fear that I may have hurt people, not unwittingly, but because of my drunken, selfish state. I can’t explain why I did this, nor what the details are because of the incriminating nature of such things but I don’t know why I feel that it is alright to mess with people’s feelings in such a callous manner. I really feel guilty about the hurt that I may have caused with my foolish words and actions – I have no excuse except for the fact that I was drunk and inescapably horny. It’s not a good place to be in but I feel like I’ve caused a whole lot of trouble that shouldn’t have been caused in the name of my own amusement, fleeting as that may be. I also see why people drift away from me eventually – I cross too many lines, break too many barriers. At heart I know that I am a selfish bitch, I can’t commit to anything except for myself and what I want. I don’t blame people for not wanting to stay with me, I just wish I knew how to do things differently.

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